Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all
by sammxhill
Summary: Bass never knew what love was until he met her. This is the story of Bass falling completely and helplessly in love for the first time in his life. Only to end up losing everything he's ever wanted. One Shot.


He met her when he was 32 years old. He was a grown man before he even really knew what love was. Yes, he had his share of girlfriends throughout the years but they never really got him. They just didn't understand his interests, his friendship with Miles, or all the pain he kept bottled inside but she did.

Surprisingly enough they met at a history museum- it was over the Civil War, his secret obsession. He was wondering around aimlessly when he saw her for the first time. She was touring the museum with her students, (She taught high school history), and they were on a field-trip. He didn't know why he had to talk to her, maybe it was the way her eyes lit up when she talked about the uniforms or other random facts, or maybe it was her smile that made his heart warm up for the first time in a long time. Whatever it was he knew he had to meet her. Somehow by the grace of God they ended up looking at the same exact statue and he finally had his chance. He did a silent thanks to whoever was listening up in the heavens and knew he had to make his move. He was charming- she was friendly, somehow they ended up touring the museum together that day and gushed over their infatuation of the same topic. By the end of the day he had her number and the promise of an upcoming date. Bass hadn't felt that happy in what felt like forever; He knew it was all because of her.

You'd think their first date was going to be magical and everything was going to be perfect, you'd be wrong. It was a complete and total disaster but man did they laugh the entire time. It was the best/worst date either of them had ever been on. A few dates later, they ended up talking about their lives and they couldn't be more different. He grew up with two younger sisters and his brother (Miles) and she was an orphan. He was an above average kid in school but due to bad choices he'd ended up losing his scholarship, thus deciding to enlist in the Marines. She was salutatorian of her high school and ended up at Penn State. Eventually he told her about losing his entire family only a few years ago and she held him while he cried. He brushed away her tears, kissed her cheeks, and held her while she told him about growing up in countless foster homes and the pain of not knowing her real parents. That was the turning point in their relationship, the moment they started to heal. Behind all the hurt and suffering that had happened to both of them; they had each other to lean on. While, yes, they were still broken a little inside- they realized they were not _alone_.

They had been dating almost a month before they made love for the first time. They spent hours learning each other's bodies and the things they enjoyed. It was intimate, passionate, and full of love. They had their first big fight about two months into their relationship. Bass was being a little too macho when somebody shoved her in line, and she asked him to let it go. He refused and ended up getting a black eye for his troubles. She was upset that he didn't listen to her but also deeply touched that he'd get hurt to protect her. But to Bass' defense he would never be that type of man that would allow someone to hurt his woman without some type of repercussions that was just Bass being Bass. So, yes, Bass would go down fighting to protect her. When he took her home that night- she finally told him the "L" word. He clenched his jaw and said nothing. She was very upset and spent the rest of the night crying. She thought he loved her too, apparently not? It wasn't until three days later that he arrived at her apartment, drunk off his ass. She asked him why'd he come and his blue eyes started to get misty. He said "I couldn't tell you how I felt that night because everybody I love ends up leaving me… I can't lose you too." His admission made her heart ache and she rubbed his back while he sobbed into her chest. That night she realized just how broken Sebastian truly was… But his fear of abandonment and loss of someone else he loved was slowly fading away…

By the tenth month Bass realized he'd never love anybody as much as he did her. She had become his everything. Bass finally found the person who knew all about him and still loved him. In him, she found the person who protected her and loved her with everything he had. So it wasn't a surprise when he eventually proposed to her. They got married three days later in the courthouse (Her idea) where Miles and her best friend Nora served as the witness for their union. Everything seemed to be finally going Bass' way. He was the happiest he'd ever been in his life.

Life was perfect for the Monroe's. They lived in a townhouse outside the city that was ideal for both commutes. They enjoyed breaking in each and every room of their new house together. They truly were growing more and more in love as each day passed. They were incredibly happy together. They were more ecstatic when they found out five months into their new lives together that they were expecting. When Bass found out he was going to be a father, it was probably the best day of his life, second to marrying her. The closer it got to the due date the more nervous Bass got. Would he be a good father? Those thoughts always seemed to linger in the back of his mind regardless of his wife constant reminder that he'd be wonderful. Besides the worrying of his wife and the state of their baby, this was the best days of his life. He couldn't have been happier. He and his wife were crazy in love and they were about to be a family. But sadly in Bass' life happiness doesn't last forever…

The day the baby was to be born was not particular eventful. It was a pleasant day, not too hot and not too cold. It was a very bland day. Bass was the perfect husband he doted on his wife's hand and foot the whole process. When it was time for her to push, she joked and said, "I'm never having sex again" he laughed and dabbed at her wet forehead. "We'll discuss that later" It seemed to be going well, his wife was pushing, but then suddenly the doctor and the nurses were all pushing him out of the room saying they needed him to get out. Of course Bass didn't want to leave her but there is only so much one man can do against 7 people. He was scared shitless. _What could be happening to her?_ Miles was there in the waiting room, since he was intended to be the child's godfather. Immediately Miles knew something was wrong when he saw Bass. Bass glanced at his shaking hands and his blue eyes filled with tears. His shoulder was grabbed by Miles and he pulled him into a tight hug. He said, "I can't lose them man, I can't lose them like my family, Miles." Miles just patted him on the back with no answer. Sebastian finally decided to take a seat, his head in his hands, while he alternated between tapping his feet restlessly. After what felt like hours, a doctor finally came out. It played out like a movie, the doctor took the mask off his face, and placed it into his hands and he had the saddest look on his face. Bass took one look at him and he fell to his knees sobbing uncontrollably. Miles gently picked him back up after giving him a few minutes to grieve. Bass rubbed his tear soaked face on the back of his hands and choked down a few more sobs before addressing the doctor. "What happened?" The doctor sighed and told him how his wife lost too much blood during the birthing process. When Bass asked about the baby- the doctor sighed once more, "She was born still-born. There was nothing we could have done. I'm so sorry." The doctor apologized once again for the loss of this man's family and the fact that he had to leave the grieving man. Bass clung to Miles' shirt while he soaked it with his tears. Miles rubbed his back soothingly feeling so bad for his best friend. Bass' cleared his throat and it came out rough and very low. "I _had_ a daughter man. I finally had to all and now they are both gone. Why do I always lose the people that I love? I've got nothing left." Miles pinched the bridge of his nose to keep himself from crying out- he had to be strong for Bass. "You got me."

The worst day of his life was when he buried them. After the funeral, he went on a drunken stupor. He had countless one night stands, drank too much, he tried anything to attempt to get over the pain that was in his heart. _It didn't work. _Nothing could feel the void in his heart. He, Sebastian Monroe, would never be the same again. He didn't laugh like he used to, he was an empty shell of the man he used to be. Miles helped out the best way he could- he moved Bass into his apartment just like old times. He took him to bars to ease the pain- it might not have been the healthiest way to cope- but Miles tried his best. Bass couldn't and wouldn't go visit his family in the cemetery, it was too much for him to even think about doing. It wasn't until three years after the loss of his wife and daughter that he finally had to strength to go to the cemetery.

Bass knelt in front of the headstone and placed the bouquet of flowers on the edge of it. He sighs deeply and places his shaking hand on the cobblestone. "Hi _sweetheart._" his voices cracks "It's been awhile huh?" He rubs his free hand over his face and brushes away the tears that are slowly forming in his eyes. "Baby… I-I… I'm sorry I haven't been around to visit you and Addison; it's not that you all haven't been on my mind because you have. I just… God, baby, it's so hard to be here… "He slowly moves his hand from the granite and slowly sinks to the ground, while his back presses against the headstone, he tilts his back and bites his lip to keep from sobbing out loud, which ultimately fails and it sounds like a pained animal. He takes several deep breathes trying to calm himself down. He open and closes his right fist to distract himself from crying more. He finally feels that he is composed enough to talk again. "I hate that you both left me." He swallows the lump that is slowly forming in his throat. "I hate it so much, babe. You are supposed to be here with me, raising our little girl together, but instead you are both _gone._" Bass puts his hands over his face to stop from crying which doesn't succeed. He sobs and his body starts to tremble from the forceful, painful cries that are escaping his body. "I was so mad at you for the longest time. I mean, you know how much I feared of being alone, and here I am..." he chuckles bitterly. "I just wanted you to know that I loved you so much and I don't regret anything. You gave me the best years of my life. I wouldn't change our life together regardless of the outcome. I would rather have had the chance to love you than not have even known you. You made me whole for the first time in my entire life. I loved you with every fiber in my body and I am so thankful that you came into my life. I just wanted to thank you for loving me when I was broken and giving me reason to live. It hurts to not have you here but the time we had together was worth it. You were the love of my life and I will never feel what I did for you, with anybody else. I'm always going to love you baby."

He moved to get up and brushed away the dirt that had started to embed into his clothing. He closed his eyes and brought his lips to the granite and placed a single kiss on it. He slowly backed away not bothering to wipe away the tears that were rolling down his face. "I gotta go now baby- I.. (he chokes back another sob)I will try to come again soon, okay? I love you both so very much" He took one look at the gravestones before he left the cemetery…

**Addison Marie Monroe**

Beloved Daughter

Gone far too soon

March 15th 2017

**Shelly Davis Monroe**

Beloved Mother and Wife

Forever in Our Hearts

March 15th, 2017

Notes: I own nothing. I am just a fan. I wanted to write a story about Shelly and Bass. I felt that she doesn't really get talked about in our fandom and I felt she needed a little appreciation. I tried to hide who his wife was and I wanted it to be known when he saw it on the graves. I know none of this is canon. I know nothing about Shelly but I felt that she would have been a good teacher and I like to think her and Bass would have had some things in common. I hope you enjoyed it. Sorry about the grammatical errors!


End file.
